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Or the lack there of …

So I go into my nearest O’Reilly auto parts store this evening to have (yet another) alternator warranty fulfilled. I swear to Christ … If I could get one that would last longer than 6 months I would dance a jig. They must have these things assembled for $0.05 each by people who can’t count past the number of fingers they have on their feet ….

Where was I?

Oh right … So I’m returning this piece of shit and know full well that the one that I get is just as big a crap shoot as the one I have, but I was told on the phone that they had 2 on the shelf, so I thought “Surely one of the two will be good, and it’s damn sure going to test good before I leave the store with another flaming paper weight.”

Oh, did I mention that I went through this little dance 6 days ago? Yeah, I did …

After having the counter dick tell me that he couldn’t just take my word for it (ok, fine, you don’t know me) and that he had to test it, I’m forced to stand there, helpless, as he searches in vain for the correct pig tail to hook the testing machine up to the DOA POS. After 5 minutes, I jokingly ask if he wants me to find it for him. Now this pissed me off … He just glares up at me and says “I think I can find it”, really shitty.

O… K…

Being as I enjoy being right, I reach my hand about three inches in front of his face and produce the correct connector. Now we’re in business… Or are we? Then I have to help him hook it up. Then, after all this, he has the gall to stand there and tell me that it’s a good alternator.

“Bullshit, spin it again.” I reply, and he does so. “Oh, well, holy shit look at that! It’s throwing about 6 volts. See this meter that says ‘volts’, and this little picture in the book that shows 12-14 being in the ‘good’ range? 6 is a good bit less than 12, wouldn’t you agree?”

Then it’s off to the shelf to get the replacement. If you think this part is going to go well, you’d be wrong.

He brings out the box with the correct part number on it, and from said box, produces what appears to be the alternator from a 10hp lawn tractor, and says to me (I shit you not)

“Oh, you’re going to have to change your pulley…”

“Uh, no, I’m going to have to change the whole fucking car for that to be right.”

At this point he begins a carful 90 second inspection of the two alternators that are about as similar as a basket ball is to a fuckin monkey, and determines that even though the number on the box matches the one on my alternator and not the one in the box, that it’s simply impossible that the wrong part is in this box and declares that my invoice from the previous return must be in error and that the number on the part that matches the invoice just isn’t correct and that I need a different one, which, naturally, has to be ordered and won’t be in until tomorrow.

At this point, my rage is replaced by the calm complacence of apathy for the situation and a thought pops into my noodle — “Wait! They have two in stock!”

“Say man, can you get the other one you have in stock?”

As he disappears to the shelf where the alternators are and then appears again in under 10 seconds, it’s not looking good. He looks at the screen of the terminal and then returns in vain to find the ever elusive “right thing”, ultimately giving up and declaring:

“It don’t matter anyway man … The part number you need is 15513 and the one on your invoice is a 15512, but the computer says you need a 15513.”

“Yeah, well, guess what? The computer says you have 2 15512′s on the shelf, doesn’t it? You know what? Forget it. Just order the ‘right’ part so I can go get something to eat…”

“Ok, sir, it’ll be here around 11:00 tomorrow morning.”

“Dandy …”

I know that the idiot doesn’t know me from Adam, but when a guy comes into a parts store carrying reciepts from 5, yes *5* previous returns of the exact same POS, you might give him just a little credit…

… End of Line …

Anyone who knows me knows I’ll eat just about anything considered by the majority to be food, and some things that aren’t. Panda Express however, may be the most unpleasant “chinese food” I’ve ever eaten.

I should have walked out when they said that they didn’t have “Sweet and Sour Chicken” (what I was in the mood for), but I didn’t as they had “Orange Chicken” (which I also usually like). So I ordered some orange chicken and fried rice and am on my may $7 lighter…

The rice tasted unpleasant and the chicken, while pleasant tasting, had a very unpleasant texture. I like all white meat with little to no fat/gristle, but this was pretty much all dark meat with a healthy protion of fat/gristle, coiled like cobra ready to strike from under the innocent deepfried breading.

Anyway, not somewhere I would recommend.

… End of Line …

What is an epiphany? No, not *the* epiphany, an epiphany…

Well, I’m glad you asked. Dictionary.com defines an epiphany as “A comprehension or perception of reality by means of a sudden intuitive realization”.

I’ve had a couple of these flashes of insight lately. They come at the most unexpected times in the most unexpected circumstances, but they’ve been happening a lot. I think that it’s a good thing, but frankly, it’s becoming a bit troublesome.

Here’s an example — Ask yourself who you really are. Most people will mentally verbalize their given name, or think about their posessions (house, car, job, clothes, etc.). A few will start to list their personality traits. An even rarer few will even go so far as to recall events that have shaped their personality along the way.

But that’s not answering the question …

Who are you? I mean, what makes you, well, you? When you strip away all the crap that society has stacked on us, what’s left at the core?

People are predictable. Most people are an amalgam of the things that they have seen that they want themselves to be. Television is a marvelous vehicle for introducing ideas to people. For women it can convey the “perfect” dress, or the “perfect” body or even the “perfect” mate. For a man, the lovely box with the moving pictures can dictate what is the “perfect” physique, the “perfect” car and clothes and yes, even how to be the “perfect” mate.

So what’s the point?

The point is that most people have absolutely no idea who they *really* are. They think that they’re resolute in their personal beliefs, yet will argue them to the point of foolishness to try to persuade other people (which is, of course, the biggest way to spot a person that’s uncertain of something). They’re hopelessly self-conscious. They’re perpetually obsessed with the material trappings and “keeping up with the Jones family”. I’m not being judgemental or overly critical though … I do some of this, too. *THAT* is the epiphany. Most people are so tied to their persona, they have no idea who their inner self is anymore.

Of course, directly related to this is that when you start to figure it out, you start to find yourself looking for other people’s approval and acceptance less and less. It can in fact, even change (radically) what you thought you “wanted”.

It’s an interesting excercise, but go slow. Stuff like this can wreck your head

… End of Line

Conversation is over rated …

I was reminded tonight (yet again) why I don’t speak. It just leads to people developing the wrong impression about you and your views, especially amongst the closed minded and opinionated.

… End of Line …